Angela Monaghan is ready to stand out, and stand up in her pink T-shirt this Friday.

Monaghan, a Midland high school teacher, sees how students interact in the hallways.

Some students are picked on for being different, and Monaghan wants to stop this bullying behaviour.

Friday, Nov. 21 is International Stand Up to Bullying Day, and both students and working professionals are encouraged to don pink to show support.

“The idea behind the pink T-shirt is from a couple of years ago in Nova Scotia when a Grade 9 boy wore a pink shirt to school and he was bullied,” said Monaghan.

It was his first day of school, and the boy was called a homosexual and was threatened by a bully. Two Grade 12 students saw it happen and decided to make their own point later that week.

“They wore pink to make a clear statement about bullying,” said Monaghan.

Kids want to fit in and be accepted in school, but bullying behaviour can make it difficult.

“The one thing I’ve learned about bullying is the empowerment of the bystander. Evil things happen when good guys do nothing. I see the pain of these kids. These are the kids with the potential to solve problems in the world.”

She said it used to be boys were physical bullies, while girls bullied socially. “It’s not that way anymore. We now have zero tolerance for being rough. Guys have learned from the girls they can get away with social bullying.”

Schools might be working on this problem, but bullies grow up and may bring their bullyish behaviour to the workplace, said Monaghan, who has joined an organization called Bully Busters, to spread awareness about bullies in the workplace.

For one Ontario librarian, the realization about being a victim came far too late. She now describes it as torture. It started out slowly in 2003, with a new principal questioning her about her work, or about problems with overdue books.

One time, a few students were left alone in the library – and one was being disruptive.

“I’m not a teacher, and I’m not allowed to supervise kids in our board,” the librarian said. “This one student, who was autistic, went through the library mixing up books.”

With no teachers around to help, the librarian gave the student three warnings to sit down, and finally threatened the student to behave or else he wouldn’t be able to loan books for three weeks.

“The student started crying and ran out of the library. Finally, the educational assistant came in with the classroom teacher and started questioning me.”

During the confrontation, the student started hitting the librarian – a move that under normal circumstances would have earned a suspension, she said.

But nothing was said or done.

From that point, other teachers started to belittle her, and one teacher even went through her office cupboards because she thought she had taken a vase. The librarian said she turned to her union for help, but nothing was ever done.

“After awhile, I realized everyone was against me. At home, I’d start crying and I developed a fear of people.”

The final straw happened in 2007 when the principal burst into the library asking for the overhead projector.

“I was signing out books, with students there, and she addressed me by my first name, which was a no-no at our school.”

The librarian ended up going to see her family doctor, who said she was too ill to work, and he blamed it on a poisonous work environment. She was asked to undergo a psychiatric assessment, and that doctor agreed with her condition. She’s no longer working and isn’t sure if she will recover.

“I realize I’m ill at the moment. I cannot function – I can’t even drive a car.”

Looking back, she said she never dared to speak up for herself.

“My only silent protest was putting books on display that were about bullying, harassment and racism.”

Gary Namie, director of the Workplace Bullying Institute in the United States, said bullying is a polite term for what used to be called mobbing.

Bullying is repeated, health-harming mistreatment of an individual by one or more persons, he said.

“There are a limitless number of tactics a bully can use,” said Namie. It can be done by verbal threats or by sabotaging the employee’s performance.

Side effects a bullying victim can experience include cardiovascular problems, gastro-intestinal issues, thoughts of suicide and post-tramautic stress disorder. A bullying situation is similar to a domestic abuse issue, where the victim remains a target instead of standing up against the bully.

The way to tell if a company has a bullying problem is to see the staff turnover rate, said Namie.

There’s also a flood of absenteeism. Lawsuits can also be another sign. Health care and education fields seem to attract more than their fair share of workplace bullies, he said.

When it comes to stopping a bully, workers can help each other.

Bystanders should step up and get involved.

“Bystanders can be like hyenas at work,” Namie said. “If you don’t side with the bully, then you think you’re next. Most of us don’t think we have the right to interfere, but bystanders need to.”

Clarify the circumstances then confront the bully to get him or her to admit what was done.

Victims who have had enough should make a business case to get the bully fired, said Namie.

One study shows 18 per cent of short-term disability claims stemmed from bullying, but companies worked that extra cash into their bottom line, he said, instead of resolving the problem.

In his book, The Bully At Work, Namie says there are five things a victim can do:
• recognize the situation.
• take time off for physical and mental health, if necessary.
• check if the bully is violating any company policies or human rights laws.
• make a business case to show the cost that bullying has on the company.
• expose the bully to the highest management person who isn’t connected to his job.

“Success is rare, there’s a good chance you’ll lose the job you love, but if you depart while pointing the finger, you’ll rebound.”

If you don’t stand up for yourself, you’ll forever be regretting it, said Namie.

International Stand Up to Bullying Day is Friday, Nov. 21 and everyone is encouraged to wear pink to work. For more information, click the link provided

jramsay@simcoe.com